Tuesday, May 20, 2008

The Home Study

Writer: Duffy, John was the entry from earlier today.

First we would like to say thank you to everyone who sent their thoughts and prayers. We love you guys.
The home study went very well. S, the social worker, was right when she said there was nothing to be really nervous about. Of course, no matter what, we were nervous. She said all parents are. You can't help it. It's like a review at work; even when you know it is a good one, it is the judgment of another person. However, S is so incredibly easy to talk to. We did a lot of laughing and chatting, some off topic. It really put us at our ease. I can see why she is so good at working will birthparents.
First we went over the profile key. This is a set of criteria that will be used to match our profile with prospective birthparents. It asks us under what conditions would we be willing to accept a child, such as mother's and father's medical histories, like chronic depression or bipolar, and drug use. This is the tough part. Here is where I still mourn our potential biological child as none of this would be an issue if I were giving birth. It also asks if we would be willing to take sibling groups or twins, Downs Syndrome or other conditions, etc.
Needless to say, it will take a lot of thought and discussion, some of which we already have done. And some calls to people who know more about medical things than us.
Next, we looked at other family profiles, and S went through what was good and bad about each of them. I showed her what I have currently written, and she approved. Once we have that finalized, I promise to post it.
That lead to the video. While we wanted to use the production services of our friend, Will, who has graciously offered, it seems that we will probably have to use the service the agency works with. And the guy sounds kinda like a jerk. But we will call and make an appointment. She also brought a video for us to watch. The couple was very nervous and rather stiff, but they were also very sincere and cute.
Finally, we went on a quick tour of the house. It's hard not to be defensive about the stained carpet and pile of chew toys, despite the fact that S is so not caring about that stuff at all.
All in all it was a good experience. We are officially approved. It felt like a very concrete step towards the completion of our family that we long for.
I would estimate that we will officially be waiting sometime in June.
Now we are going to celebrate with Chinese food.

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