Good Thoughts

I got this email from our friend, Anne, today, and I had to share. I hope you don't mind, Anne. Love ya'!

Yesterday I was cleaning a bit and came across 3 empty, small picture frames. I put pictures of David & Noah in two of them, and thought that I'd save the 3rd for your baby! Then last night I had a dream that you guys got picked and brought home a little girl. Hopefully my dream meant that your baby is coming soon!!!! I said a extra prayer at church this morning! I'm getting so excited!!!!!!

StoryCorps

StoryCorps is a national project in which sound booths are set up at various places, and anyone can come and record their stories and interviews. The recordings are archived at the National Archives as part of everyday history.
The goal of StoryCorps is to make me cry.

An Orphan's Adoption: 'And Away We Went'

Mythical Creatures

I had a unicorn baby. I would glimpse his hazel eyes giggling at me from his carseat in my rearview mirror. I would hear her cries echoing through the house at three in the morning, and the phantom me would get up and go smooth her sweaty dark ringlets as she cried for no good reason. I would feel the weight of his tall-for-his-age body on my pant leg as I went about changing laundry loads and emptying the dishwasher. He was going through the clinging to Mommy phase, you see. The petite, too-small-for-her-age length of her would fit perfectly in my arms as I sat doing nothing at all but zoning in front of the TV and she slept, refusing to be put down.
I had to let my unicorn baby go. He and she waved good-bye as they went to fulfill the promises of that twit, Jackie Paper, and have adventures in the Land of Hanalee.
Now I have a phoenix baby. He rises out of the ashes of disappointments and fear to create hope with his golden song. She does all of the same things the unicorn baby did, taunting me from around corners, but her features are blurred like a hummingbird's wings. Yet the outline is more defined. She is coming. He will fly, maybe long and far, maybe short and near, but he will come. And we will make her song powerful and strong to withstand and fight against the wind.
I may always miss my unicorn baby, but I will always love my phoenix baby.

Nursery Flooring

The nursery flooring is complete! Over the last two days (unfortunately, I was only home for one of them), they've taken out the carpet from the "pink" room and the hallway, replacing it with wondrous laminate (a very pale color in the nursery, and a mediumish color to match the downstairs hallway in the upstairs hallway). Things really look great.

We were really hoping that the stairs would be a high quality hardwood under the carpet, but that does not appear to be the case . . . they're a crappy pine. So, we're going to look at removing the Berber carpet from them, staining the pine, and then placing a runner on down -- this should really make things look a little nicer than they currently do while also keeping the advantage of carpet on a stairway (much less slippery).

Next, they're tearing out the carpet and replacing it with tile in our bathrooms (that would actually be done right now, but the tile is backordered). Also, the nursery is being painted with puppies. Pictures will be coming.

I May Regret This, But..... Calling All Parents!

OK, first I want to say thanks for all of the comments I got about the Snugride. I think that will eventually be our first car seat and stroller.
Now....
Since there is a chance that we will have minimal time to prepare for the arrival of our child, I have decided to put the skeleton of a diaper bag together, so we do not have to do it at the last minute. So I am asking for advice on bags before I trekked across Harrisburg to the Babies R Us. I was also wondering if anyone might have advice on some more unusual things I might want to have in it that I might not have thought to add. Keep in mind we will probably spend the first couple of days with the baby in a hotel room. Here are the obvious items I plan on putting in there.....

newborn diapers (I have been told that Pampers Swaddlers are good.)
baby wipes (OK, I had a long car ride with Karen. She also suggested Huggies wipes as they are bigger.)
diaper cream
lotion (My AA adoption list serves say that Aveeno is best for newborn AA children.)
onesies
some warmer weather outfits and cooler weather outfits
bottles
formula (Too be purchased later)
blankets (I saw some on Babies R Us web site that were specifically for swaddling that looked neat. Anyone know anything about them?)

Karen also liked the sleeping sacks.
Lisa is a big fan of the sling. I know that this is one of those things that it seems parents either love or don't, but it will probably be a good thing for us in forming a bond with a baby that has not been listening to my heartbeat for nine months.
So I know parents love to share with parents-to-be, and I am actually asking!
Thanks in advance.

Random Things

Kim, our massage therapist, is also our nursery artist, and she started sketching out some of the puppies today. SO CUTE. We couldn't be happier with the direction she is going in. The puppies and floors should be done next week.

I have been looking at car seats and strollers, etc. Any recommendations would be appreciated. I think this is the car seat and stroller combo I want. Our friend, Lisa, recommended it. Car Seat
& Stroller Adapter. I am not sure about the pattern, I like the plan black better, but that is not on Target's web site.

And I want one of these t-shirts.
On the back it says, “If you are neutral in a situation of injustice, you have chosen to side with the oppressor.” It is not, as some people might think, anti- white, but just a way to understand that all of us have privileges as human beings that everyone should have even though everyone does not. It is about awareness, not guilt. This picture is from The White Privilege Conference. At first that might make many of us feel defensive and worry about reverse racism, but as their motto states, "The focus of our fight is more and more 'for' something and less and less 'against' something." It also isn't just about race, but gender, orientation, class, etc. Read this Anti-Racist Parent blog entry for a great take on the idea of privilege as awareness, not guilt.

Our Debut

There is nothing that can make you feel like a bigger doofus than being videotaped. Most of the time you just have to live with the idea that you get to be uncomfortable every time the family videos come out or worse case scenario, it ends up on You Tube. It usually doesn't have a major impact on your future unless you are an LA cop. Tonight we recorded 3 minutes and 40 seconds that will shape the rest of our lives. This, of course, was the video that the agency will show to birthparents who showed interest in our profile. We will get a copy of the video in a couple of weeks. It will be posted then.
The videographer is in Millersville which is about an hour away. In the car we made a brief list of what we wanted to say and practiced a couple of times, both nixing and approving of different wordings and topics. Then we listened to Harry Potter. You know, to relax.
We were a little apprehensive about the videographer as it sounded like he could be uptight and picky, but he turned out to be a really nice guy. He's been doing these videos for 15 years, so he had some good advice about what to do. You know, look at the lens, look at each other, help each other out if someone gets frozen, that kind of thing. We started out with a simple intro, and when in doubt, tell a joke. Ours was about getting to the showcase showdown on Price Is Right. After that we covered the basics about us, family, diversity, and openness. John did really well, but I have to say I made a couple of snafus like calling the baby it and looking down at the notes. However, the videographer said that we were very natural and funny which are things that a lot of people have trouble being in these videos. He seemed pleased, and we felt pleased as well.
Tomorrow, I will call the agency, and we will officially be in the book, waiting.
So, folks, the stick turned blue, we went through the morning sickness, and now the water just broke. We know it's coming, but you can't tell how long the labor will be.

The Video

First, off-topic: I've been posting in this other font, just because it makes things a little clearer as to who is doing the posting. Should I change things up at all?

So, we have our video tomorrow night, and we really haven't done much in the way of what we want to say. The video should be between three and five minutes - I have a feeling we'll be on the shorter end of that spectrum.

1. Introduction

   We are John & Duffy . . .

2. Thank you for watching our video

   We feel like we've made it to the "Showcase Showdown" on The Price is Right

3. Family the child will be living in

   We have our own petting zoo and a family army all within hailing distance . . .

4. Racial environment that the child will be raised

   Carlisle is a very diverse town . . .

5. How excited we are about becoming parents
6. Website access for pictures / email exchanges / etc

   Should you want it, John would be happy to establish a password protected website that you can share with your family & friends and track the child as s/he grows up

That feels like it would be 3 minutes worth of blabbering - we'll see how things actually turn out. A note of etiquette, however. As I was writing my last point, what do we call the baby at this stage? To the birthmother, is it "your child", "the child", "our child", am I putting too much thought into this (I know it wouldn't be the first time)?

Race in America

One of the big themes we have in this blog is the issue of race, and how race issues in America are not what they once were. With the current political climate, we certainly are at an interesting time to look at the issues between races. It's nice to see a news story that basically repeats what we've been saying all along -- race is not the issue that it once was -- things are far from perfect, but as time moves forward, issues between the races are lessening. I do think there will be some time in the future where humans will just "be", and there will be no thought of distinction based on nationality, race, gender, sexual orientation . . . at least, I hope that's what the future has in store for us.

No Posts In Awhile

So, we haven't posted in awhile . . . simply because there hasn't been a lot of action. We have our videographer appointment next Tuesday. We still haven't even really started on the whole "what do we want to say about ourselves" bit. I like the start Duffy has, though -- basically, our video will only be seen if we've been chosen from the profile book. So - in a way, it's kind of like being on the "Showcase Showdown" of The Price is Right. We will definitely be playing that theme up. While any siblings are required to appear during the video, that mandate does not extend to fuzzy siblings. I don't know if having them with us would be a help or a hindrance.

Over the last couple of days, I've been talking to a lot of people about the whole adoption process. I really don't know why people think they need to say "you know, now that you're walking down this road, you're going to get pregnant right away." I want to scream this is not like applying to a "safety school". We are in this because we want to be in this. I honestly see no difference between "parent" or "adoptive parent", when it comes to the idea of family, outside of the nine months of pregnancy. Hearing the number of parents who have started down the road to adoption only to get pregnant themselves, and then back out of adoption is actually frightening. Duffy & I are in this thing fully -- the only situation that I can envision where we would "back out" of adoption is if we discovered that Duffy was pregnant with quadruplets - and even then, we'd need to think about it.

So -- not really sure why I chose now to chime in . . . just felt that there had been enough blog silence to warrant a little something.