Friday, October 15, 2010

Innocent Questions without Innocent Answers

At this moment I am trying to think of a time I have gone out in public, mostly shopping, and I haven't been asked about the kids' age difference. I can't think of one single time, and it even goes back to when I was pregnant. I can always see the question in the person's eyes before they even ask. And really, I have no problem explaining our situation, and I haven't gotten any inappropriate responses... yet. (This would include: Do you love them the same? How much did he cost? Why did his mother give him up? Etc.) I do get a lot of stories about other people who had the same thing happen.
My favorite scenarios is the person who pauses for a moment, squints, then tentatively asks, "Are they twins?" Sometimes, I am just tempted to say, "Yes." It's easier. I don't mind explaining myself, but sometimes, I just don't want to tell our family story to everyone.
And I worry about it when the kids get older. They are going to be asked about this a lot. Should they have to explain their story to curious people all the time? And what if they do encounter someone who asks one of those inappropriate follow up questions? Both John and I have read a lot about helping kids deal with these situation, and I think we can give them a good arsonal of replies. Still though, it sucks that they need to have them.
I am a little tempted to just tell them to lie and say they are twins.