Thursday, September 25, 2008

All Quiet on the Adoption Front

No news to report in our travels . . . which is why things have been so quiet around here. There has been an interesting shift in attitude lately. I can only explain it in a truly odd metaphor. You know how, at the beginning of a vacation, you're really, really excited. You can't wait for everything to happen - it's going to be awesome! And then you're on the plane . . . and you're on the plane . . . and you're on the plane. Suddenly it's not so great -- you hunker down, you do what it takes to keep on going. Yeah, that end point is going to be just as great as you imagined it -- but the getting there . . . well, you never thought it would be fun, but the excitement wears off and you just need to get through it. That's where we are -- still really, really looking forward to that end point -- but we're in the "hunkered" mode . . . the journey is just that, a journey - and it's boring and uncomfortable sometimes -- but it'll be worth it in the end.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Community Dynamics

OK, so blog. (I find it funny that the spell checker doesn't know blog.) We are in the Waiting doldrums, so it is kinda hard to think of a whole lot to write about. I know readers like regularish (Really, spell check, regularish is OK?) updates, so here goes.
We are trying to look at Waiting in the most positive of lights. OK, it didn't happen today, but each day we are closer to having a baby.
We will see how long that lasts.
Waiting has been a recent topic on one of the adoption list serves. Those of us Waiting are an interesting community. We have so much in common, yet we are all rather selfish. Let's face it, we are in competition with each other. And I think every person or couple who is Waiting, feels their desperation and need is the greatest. Most have already been through so much in their quest for a child. Some seem to become obsessed with comparing who is getting shown to whom, who are the families that are getting picked, how long have these or those people been Waiting? There is so little control (read no control), people need something. It can be a dark place to go to. The place where you start to ask why them and not us? I will admit to going there when someone gets pregnant, but I am doing my best to avoid it with adoptions. This is why I don't call the social worker. This is why I don't want to know how many babies have been placed or to whom. It makes no difference. It doesn't make our chances greater or lesser. When it's our turn, it will be our turn.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Waiting for the ring

I really need to get the social worker's cell phone number from my wife. I remember this each time my phone rings - but I always forget when we're together.

See, much like she did, I have a ringtone specifically for Adoption from the Heart -- "Who Needs Sleep" by the Barenaked Ladies. The problem is, it is very likely that I won't get called from the office number, but from S's cell phone . . . and I don't have that programmed in. So, each time I hear the first (and last) movement of the Carmina Burana, O Fortuna, coming from my iPhone -- I jump a little more than necessary.

This was especially problematic last week, as my truck was in the shop (biking into work certainly makes dealing without a vehicle a little easier), and the shop had questions about a variety of things. While my phone really doesn't ring all that often, I jump for every one of them. This makes things even more frustrating when it's a stupid technical recruiter calling to see if I'm available on the job market.

Anyway -- still haven't heard "Who Needs Sleep" play from my phone's speaker . . . you'll know as soon as it does.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Role Reversal

It is very difficult to adjust to life Waiting. Every time we make plans, I think, We might not be able to keep these plans. I made a tuition payment thinking, this could be a big waste of money. What if we have to cancel the Halloween Party?
You are Waiting, Life is not.
This almost took me out this summer. There were times in which I would find myself starring at my phone willing it to ring the special ringtone I had set for AFTH. (It's changed. It was The Facts of Life theme song, then Ms. Jackson. Finally I have settled on Magic Dance.) Deep down I was really hoping it would happen before school started as that would be much less disruptive. There was a good bit of disappointment when it didn't especially with the close call only a week before.
Now that school's started, Waiting has become easier. I have 75 kids to worry about. I was thinking about adoption 547 times a day this summer, and now it's 283.
We made John the primary contact once school became my reality as he has more flexibility to answer the phone during the day. If it is Major, he will text me Adoption 911, so I can call him as soon as possible. If it is minor, he will just text me to say call AFTH when I get a chance.
Apparently, emotions were also switched. We were at dinner with some acquiantances on Thursday, and I mentioned how the waiting was easier now that school had started. John, deer in headlights look and everything, turned to me and said, "Easier for you! I'm primary contact now!" I looked back at him. I could hug him in empathy. I could kiss him in support.
I laughed in amusement and a little surprise.
John has really been a philosophical rock through all of this. He turned Waiting into a Zen state.
It tickled me to see him a little ruffled.
I love him so much.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Look at Me, Look at Me!

I am not sure how many of you ever check in at my other blog, but I went out a scenic bike ride today with my iPhone and took at few pictures. If you're not a regular reader, check out: My Cycling Blog for the details, and check in every now and then to see what I'm up to, as I decide on important things like:

  1. Whether or not I should get a tattoo
  2. If my 20 mile commute, and the possibility of future long-term rides, really warrants a dedicated "commuter bicycle"
  3. How I plan on dealing with the cold mornings.

Anyway - you don't have to go there . . . but I figured you all might like to know that the info is out there, should you be bored and want to read something else.