Saturday, September 6, 2008

Role Reversal

It is very difficult to adjust to life Waiting. Every time we make plans, I think, We might not be able to keep these plans. I made a tuition payment thinking, this could be a big waste of money. What if we have to cancel the Halloween Party?
You are Waiting, Life is not.
This almost took me out this summer. There were times in which I would find myself starring at my phone willing it to ring the special ringtone I had set for AFTH. (It's changed. It was The Facts of Life theme song, then Ms. Jackson. Finally I have settled on Magic Dance.) Deep down I was really hoping it would happen before school started as that would be much less disruptive. There was a good bit of disappointment when it didn't especially with the close call only a week before.
Now that school's started, Waiting has become easier. I have 75 kids to worry about. I was thinking about adoption 547 times a day this summer, and now it's 283.
We made John the primary contact once school became my reality as he has more flexibility to answer the phone during the day. If it is Major, he will text me Adoption 911, so I can call him as soon as possible. If it is minor, he will just text me to say call AFTH when I get a chance.
Apparently, emotions were also switched. We were at dinner with some acquiantances on Thursday, and I mentioned how the waiting was easier now that school had started. John, deer in headlights look and everything, turned to me and said, "Easier for you! I'm primary contact now!" I looked back at him. I could hug him in empathy. I could kiss him in support.
I laughed in amusement and a little surprise.
John has really been a philosophical rock through all of this. He turned Waiting into a Zen state.
It tickled me to see him a little ruffled.
I love him so much.

1 comment:

Barbara Batzer said...

oh the magic dance song!!!