I suppose we all have them not matter how little we believe in fate or predestination. We cross our fingers for luck, we do the sign of the cross, we don't cross under ladders, we don't let black cats cross our path, etc.
I am developing adoption superstitions. This time it is going to work because, this, this and that were different since last time. The second time it was different because the birthmom wanted to meet us, and she wasn't interested in naming the baby.
We all know how that worked out.
You would think I would learn my lesson. Or maybe you wouldn't because you know me really well.
A) I got the call instead of John.
B) Our SW, S, got to make the call which did not happen either of the last two times.
C) The situation is in Delaware, not PA. Revocation time, 14 days, potentially from birth.
D) Here is one that I am not proud of, but crossed (there's that word again) my mind. The baby is biracial. Note: This makes no difference in my excitement or yearning for this baby vs. the last two. It is just another difference that I have noted.
My goal tomorrow is not to let these kind of observations consume me. I don't want to spend the visit dissecting it for what is different because the differences make me feel more confident. The truth is there is no sign that can say, yes, this is it! Only time will tell for sure, and dwelling on these superstitions is making this birthmom pay for the actions of the other two.
I hope I am strong enough. Wish me luck! Wait.....
5 months ago