Sunday, September 23, 2007

It seems the thing to do

Well, it seems like the thing to do these days, when expecting a child or after having a child, is to have a blog to document the major and minor happenings of these life changing events. Its the new baby book.
As most of you know, John and I have been hoping to welcome a child into our lives for two and a half years now. Whoever is in charge of survival of the species by the propagation of genetically strong offspring didn't get the memo.
Last month when the infertility doctor I was seeing closed her office, it ended up being a bit of a turning point for us. We sat down and had a long talk. We had gotten to the point in the medical process where things were starting to get expensive, and the monthly emotional roller coaster of even the most minor of treatments was turning out to be more than I wanted to face.
So we have opted for a different type of carnival ride, adoption. Think of it like a merry-go-round where the only way to snag the ring is for someone else to let it go. Also, your horse is broken and not only goes up and down but side to side as well. However, if our situation has come down to spending a great deal of time and money to become parents, we feel that we want to go with the ride that even if it takes a couple of years to get all the way around to the right ring, our chance will come around eventually.
OK, enough of the metaphor. (I do still have aspirations of becoming a novelist, and it can get away from me at times). So we have spent the rest of the summer reading, cruising the Internet, and asking everyone we know who has adopted questions that are probably too personal.
On Tuesday, we go to a free meeting at an agency in Harrisburg called Adoption From the Heart. Currently, this company is the forerunner. The representative I talked to on the phone was very personable and helpful without making me feel like she was giving me a spiel. The fact that they have an office in Harrisburg is a big plus as well.

This next section gets into the knitty gritty of our research, so I won't be offend if you skip it.

Our research is also leading us in the direction of a domestic, open adoption. Through this program the agency will create a profile of us that will be made available to birthmothers/parents. If one choses us, we will meet her. From there she will decide if she feels we are the parents she wants for her child. If we are, we will be able to be at the hospital when our child is born and take him or her home from there. That is the domestic part of it. Open is when the adoptive parents and birthparents will still have contact throughout the child's life. The birthparents can be as involved as they and the adoptive parents are comfortable with. This usually means exchanging pictures and letters a couple times a year through the agency or even meeting once a year again at an event arranged by the agency.
Through my research I have also realized that if you want to see racism alive and well, look to the adoption system. Agencies often have two different programs based on a baby's race. There is the African American/biracial program and the everyone else program. Everyone else is usually at least $5,000 more than the African American/biracial program. It doesn't cost less to adopt an African American child, the cost is subsidized, because there are so many more children in this category available. Originally, we wanted to try and get in both programs, because the more birthmothers who see our profile the better, but now I think our social indignation is making us lean more towards adopting a black or biracial or purple kid.

OK, potentially boring details are over. I promise that future posts will not be this wordy. I hope. I am me after all.

So that is where we stand right now. I will send a quick post on Tuesday or Wednesday after the meeting to let everyone know how it went.


barb said...

I know that waiting is not a patient thing. I am praying for the John Lamont Batzer Jr family. Love me.

Ryan said...

I'd recommend her.

Vasil said...

As I read this my heart fills with pride and love for my first born child(oh, and for you too, Yianniki)...and I shed a tear or two okay 2 kleenexes full in anticipation of my second grandchild...whatever color he or she may be...but please keep in mind that blue is my favorite color!

Jacob said...

I love and respect the fact that you called it, "The Unknown Zygot." I mean, that's just funny. And apt. It works on levels. And holy F*CK have you really been married for almost four years?!?!
You know we're all behind you on this Batzker. Keep in mind that green is MY favorite color and the Adopt a Martian program is even less funded than that of the African/American one.

Duffy Batzer said...

Yeah, Jake, because that worked so well for Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru.

Barbara Batzer said...
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Barbara Batzer said...

Anything I can do I will do. Do you pick material or should I?