NOVEMBER

We are getting down to the wire. Single digit days and counting. I just booked a hotel for a couple of nights and then a condo for our longer term stay in Delaware. Keep up all the positive energy! Thanks, everyone.

Ladies and Gentlemen, We have a head! And a date!

The very thoughtful birthmother had the agency send us these sonagram (ultrasound? Is there a difference?) pictures. One is the profile, which we can make out. The other is supposed to be the nose and lips? A prize to the first person who can figure that one out.
They have also scheduled the C Section. NOVEMBER 10TH!

Just Keep Swimming, Just Keep Swimming

Well, here we are. October. I love October. Sweater weather and hot chocolate. This October? Eh. We were not expecting to still not be parents. I wanted baby sweaters and hot formula. I mean warm formula.
It just seems that we are destined to never have anything we are told turn out that way.
When we met with the birthmom on September 5, she was supposed to go to the doctor on September 8. At that appointment, they were going to schedule a c section that was supposed to take place mid September. This, of course, has not happened. I know! Shocking, right?
Here is what has happened.
Through a series of frustrating (both for us and the birthmom) circumstances, she did not get to the doctor until last Thursday, October 1. Now, those with some powers of observation might ask, if she was to have a c section mid September, shouldn't she have gone into natural labor by October 1?
You would be correct, if... wait for it... the original dates had been correct.
They were not.
The October 1 and follow up on October 2 relieved that the September dates were, of course, off. By two months. The new due date seems to be closer to November 11.
Yeah, I know. I feel you.
It feels never ending. Some moments, I just think, what next?! What more can we be asked to take? Why hasn't it been enough already?
Then I remember, it is what it is. There is no why.
We do feel better than we did most of September. Days in September got very black at points because we had no real updates. Now we have real information. It might be slightly frustrating information, but it is concrete. And the birthmom is still set on the adoption plan. All good things.
And I figure this much. I wasn't the world's most patient person before. I wasn't an overly impatient person, but patience was not my most abundant virtue.
Now it is.
That's got to be good for a soon-to-be mom, right?

(John was always incredibly patient. Except with recalcitrant computers, but that doesn't count. 'Cause who is?)

Quick Update

Just wanted to let everyone know that we are in a holding pattern, waiting for the birthmom to go to the doctor and schedule the c section. Though there have been some craziness and some moments of high panic, due more to past experiences than anything happening with this situation, everything seems to still be on track. Hopefully, SOMETHING should have happen before the end of the month.

Interesting Video

Both DMC and Sarah McLachan are adopted. I think this song and video shows a lot of the different levels to adoption, good and less so.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PU19xA8h3FQ

The Meeting with the Birthmom

We met with the birthmom in Delaware on Saturday . . . it was a good meeting. Like the last time we met with a birthmom, we got there really early (there was a discrepancy with the "time with traffic" and the actual time it took us to drive into Milford, Delaware . . . go figure, not much traffic on a Saturday toward the end of beach season). Having some time to kill, drove to a GameStop & took advantage of Delaware's lack of a sales tax: Rock Band & a few other games for the 360, and Wii Resort.

So, after spending money that we probably shouldn't have, we drove back into Milford and pull into the restaurant a few minutes before noon - where we mention that we're going to be meeting with two others, but hey, they're here! After introductions (we all bonded over a love of food in just about any shape or form), we got into the nitty-gritty of what we were there for.

As we had known, Birthmom has four children, the first three from a long-term relationship. Then birthmom met birthdad and had a little girl just under a year ago. The timing of everything (along with false-negative pregnancy tests) lead to a delayed discovery in the pregnancy -- she only really found out five months into the journey, and that's because the "baby belly" she was carrying suddenly was turning hard. Adoption was the first thought she had.

Of course, adoption wasn't the obvious choice here -- when birthmom was young, there was an adoption situation with her elder sister, leaving a bad taste for adoption in birthmom's sister's mouth. The birthmom's sister was won over when she saw what the birthmom was working through.

Obviously, there was talk of race -- birthmom is white, birthdad is black, but I think we managed to allay any fears that we "didn't know what we were getting into". Then there were the words that most any set of adoptive parents want to hear: "I really feel like I'm just carrying this baby for somebody else". Heck - she even mentioned that she has sonogram pictures for us (they were left at home), as those work really well in the front of an baby book. Aside from the serious stuff, there was sports talk, and school talk and random chit-chat. The biggest hurdle we may have is the fact that the birthmom is in Delaware, but her eldest three are in NJ. Birthmom is working to move back to NJ, and spending as much time in NJ now as possible . . . if she were to start going into labor naturally while in NJ, we have what's known as a "three state adoption", which will add a pile of legalwork for us to get through, but it's nothing huge.

As we left, we realized that we had parked right next to the social worker & birthmom . . . made us chuckle.

Our next steps - we should know when a C-section will be scheduled within the next few days, and then it's a waiting game -- so keep watching this space, or Twitter, or Facebook . . . or just wait for a primal scream of joy -- that'll be us.

Superstitions

I suppose we all have them not matter how little we believe in fate or predestination. We cross our fingers for luck, we do the sign of the cross, we don't cross under ladders, we don't let black cats cross our path, etc.
I am developing adoption superstitions. This time it is going to work because, this, this and that were different since last time. The second time it was different because the birthmom wanted to meet us, and she wasn't interested in naming the baby.
We all know how that worked out.
You would think I would learn my lesson. Or maybe you wouldn't because you know me really well.
A) I got the call instead of John.
B) Our SW, S, got to make the call which did not happen either of the last two times.
C) The situation is in Delaware, not PA. Revocation time, 14 days, potentially from birth.
D) Here is one that I am not proud of, but crossed (there's that word again) my mind. The baby is biracial. Note: This makes no difference in my excitement or yearning for this baby vs. the last two. It is just another difference that I have noted.

My goal tomorrow is not to let these kind of observations consume me. I don't want to spend the visit dissecting it for what is different because the differences make me feel more confident. The truth is there is no sign that can say, yes, this is it! Only time will tell for sure, and dwelling on these superstitions is making this birthmom pay for the actions of the other two.
I hope I am strong enough. Wish me luck! Wait.....