Saturday, March 21, 2009

Dear Baby

Dear Baby,

It is not my heart you live beneath. The steady rhythm of my life is not your lullaby. My breath does not sustain you. It will not be my sweat and pain that will bring you into the world. I am in awe of your mother who possesses the wisdom of Solomon and the bravery of the mother who loves you so much she will give us a piece of herself. It will be my job to teach you to lift your head high and sing the story of all who love you as a proud heir to the imperfect world.
Then you will be my heart. My voice will be your lullaby. My sweat and pain will be part of your growing and loving as will my laugh and kisses and hugs.
When we meet you our family will be complete.
Please hurry!
Love, Mommy

Friday, March 20, 2009

And that day is now

For the faithful were patient -- and were at last rewarded

-- Not a Bible passage, but it's been running through John's head

Just got a phone call from Adoption from the Heart. Duffy & I are going to be parents! Details are still scarce, and our brains are working really, really, really fast right now -- will post details as details become apparent.

  • Birthmother is 22 years old

  • Birthfather is a 35 year old asshole -- location unknown. Legal steps are being taken to ensure that he has no claim to the child after birth

  • Due date is April 7

  • All signs point toward a healthy baby -- a slightly elevated pre-natal glucose level (but tnot to the level of gestational diabetes)

  • Birthmother is currently in West Virginia, but has had all pre-natal care in central PA and plans to give birth in central PA

  • Birthmother's mother is 100% supportive of her daughter's decision

  • Sex of the child is unknown at this time

  • Birthmother has not yet decided if she wants to meet Duffy or I right now

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

New Profile

Here is the profile for American. It is much more extensive the AFTH because they do not do a video. I think both ways have their merits.

American Profile

Here is a link to the entry about the AFTH profile if you want to compare.

AFTH Profile

FYI - There is no way to take a picture of three dogs, two humans, and a cat on a camera timer delay. I also decided I was going nuts and putting a lot of other frustration on this stupid picture. I am going to leave it alone. The current picture is fine. It's not going to make the difference. Next time someone is around, I will try and get him or her (read Alex) to take the picture.

Observing My Own Behavior

The first thing anyone who is adopting must do it embrace the uncontrollable nature of the process. "I am a leaf on the wind.", so to speak. You are along for the ride as there is only so much you can do. You can tilt a certain way to keep the leaf on course, but ultimately you are not allowed to make any important decisions until the baby is here, and the appropriate paperwork is signed. So what do you do? When you are allowed to, you tilt that leaf with all of your might. You become obsessed with moving that leaf any which way you can to make it go just a little faster.
Case in point. We are finishing up our profile with American Adoptions. J has asked us for a better picture of us with our pets than the one we sent. Can you guess what my day is now revolving around? Ding! You got.
Can I convince John to play sick and go home right now, so we can take the picture and send it today?
OK, no.
Can we do it tonight, so it gets there tomorrow?
How the heck are we going to get them all together and have to set the camera timer because by the time we are both home it is going to be 9 PM and I can't ask someone to come over at that hour to take the picture? (This obsession overrides even my need to correct all run-ons.)
Where are we going to do it?
Should I brush the dogs beforehand?
Should I put a bow on Pip?
Well, you get the idea. Because I have no idea what one little thing is going make a birth parent catch our leaf.
And somewhere inbetween these thoughts I have to mold the literary minds of the future.
And teach a bunch of high school kids some appreciation for Shakespeare.
And work out.
And bond with my brother over clay.
And complete a Masters Degree.

This blog entry is dedicated to Joss & Wash.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

It Could Have Been My Due Date

Here is a secret hope of potential adoptive parents. At least this potential adoptive parent. You can get a kid in less than nine months. It's one thing we have over all of you breeders.
Well, today was nine months to the day that we went on the waiting list with AFTH.
Anyway, moving on.
First, Zoe for Life. Yeah, remember them? The Orthodox organization that works with women in crisis pregnancies? The one we sent info to in December and never heard anything? Then I finally called in January and was told that we had to be approved by some committee? Right. I knew you all remembered. Well, I finally heard from a very nice overworked lady. Apparently we have been in their adoption book since we sent the stuff in December.
Right. Good, I guess?
Moving on.
We talked with our Adoption Specialist, hence forth known as J, from American Adoptions,today. She did a review of our Adoptive Parent Questionnaire, hence forth, the APQ. This is the document used to match us with potential birthmoms. She feels that we have a good level of openness that will give us a high level of exposure. Yes, I assure you this is an adoption and not our latest advertising campaign. Wait, on second thought....
That is EXACTLY what it is.
American has a template for the profile. We had to send them text and a lot of pictures, including at least 8 to 10 of us as a couple. That was hard. We are always the ones taking pictures. Anyway, the graphic design company should be sending us a copy early next week. J will make some revision suggestions, and we will send any changes. We should be ready to go active in two to three weeks.
American is also not opposed to giving wait time estimates.
J said the stastics show that we should be matched within three months.
There would have been no question mark nine months ago.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Blergh, PA, Blergh

So my fingerprints expired as I explained before. (I should rob something.) The fingerprinting place is open on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays from 8:15 to 11:15 and then from 12:15 to 3:45 when there is a full moon and cows walk backwards.
I went there today because, you know, this is kinda important. I need the friggin' FBI's permission to be a parent. If only gang members did too. ANYWAY, I get there and....
Oh, and there is a phone number.
So I call.
THE ENTIRE COGENT (The company that handles fingerprinting) SYSTEM FOR PA WAS DOWN. THE. ENTIRE. SYSTEM.
My will, she is broken. My uterus couldn't do it even with the ovaries help. It took the great Commonwealth of Pennsylvania and the bloated vender that they hired. At least it wasn't Halliburton.